The liturgy was already coming to an end, and those
who wished to confess were still a dozen or two. Father wanted that as many as
possible gathered to make this sacrament, without which, as you know, you can
not approach the chalice, and so I hurried. He especially tried to settle the
inaudibly talkative parishioners, reminding them that it is important not only
to tell in full detail about their unseemly acts in confession, but how to have
a penitent feeling and a desire to reform in the soul. However, having
previously apologized to the audience, he still warned them that,
unfortunately, he could not listen to all. After these words many of the
parishioners went away; and the rest began to press on ahead standing,
squeezing in a semicircle near Father Michael.
Before Olga Nikolaevna, there was no one; but as soon
as she was about to approach her father, she noticed an old man leaning on a
cane to her right. He was breathing heavily; sweat rolled down his face.
"Come in, grandfather," Olga Nikolaevna
said, leaning back a bit. He nodded gratefully ... And when Father Michael
covered his head with an epitaph, she heard behind her a child's crying and
then a woman's voice:
"Wet again? .. My God!" - A woman with a
baby in her arms looked pleadingly at Olga Nikolaevna.
"Of course." She took a step to the side.
And then she glanced sideways at the young man with a red face, who had come
near, in place of the woman with the child. Smelling the smell of alcohol, she
was horrified. "Is it possible to come to the temple in such a
state?" - she was about to say to the boy; but immediately she realized: -
"Lord, do I judge a person? Maybe he struggles with his passion, is tormented
by his family and friends, came for help to God - and after my instruction
ashamed and will leave the temple forever. And his soul will perish! Let the
priest decide ... "And she stepped aside, letting the young man go
forward. He looked at her inquiringly; but still after the woman with the child
he came to the priest ...
Father Michael talked with him for a long time, and in
the crowd of those preparing for confession a grumbling rose. And Olga
Nikolayevna was happy: "Let her," she thought, "speak a little
longer; maybe it will do good to the kid ... "
The priest announced that he was professing one more
person; but Olga Nikolaevna did not have time to make a step, then ahead of
stood an old lady who hid behind Father Michael ... Olga Nikolaevna looked at
her in bewilderment, but there was nothing to do; and along with the others who
did not manage to confess, she stepped aside ...
"The Lord did not allow me to the chalice,"
she thought, "unworthy ... Yes indeed: I slapped my son recently for the
slingshot, but I should have acted differently: to tell him about the suffering
of the wounded birds; girlfriends at work, when I caught them watching an
obscene video, I said so many things - instead of just telling them that such a
movie is an abomination. I did not even apologize to them ... Lord, forgive me,
a sinner. Now I understand that You have shown me great mercy, not allowing
Your body and Your blood to be defiled by my mouth, which was taken away from
me for the sin of blasphemy ... "
Meanwhile, the communicants began to approach the
chalice. Olga Nikolaevna saw among them a grandfather with a cane, a woman with
a baby in her arms - and sincerely was happy for them ... And when the
red-faced young man she had passed to the confessor communed with her, tears
began to flow down Olga's cheeks. "Lord," she whispered,
"deliver him by the power of Your grace from the evil passions, have come
to his family peace and happiness ..." And she crossed herself ...
At the end of the service, the parishioners, as usual,
began to approach the priest to kiss the Cross, which he held in his hand ...
And when Olga Nikolaevna wanted to kiss the cross, the priest trembled and
slightly shook ... "What a shame," later in my head Olga Nikolaevna ,
even the priest recoiled from me. This is an obvious sign to me that I should
not dare approach the temple, being in sinful uncleanness! .. "And, with
her eyes down, she stood in the darkest corner of the temple, not daring even
to say the holy words of prayer ...
A few minutes later I heard a woman's voice beside me:
- You are standing here, the communicants should
listen to the thanksgiving service. Come on ...
And Olga Nikolaevna did not have time to open her
mouth as a servant of the church - an elderly woman in a brown kerchief - took
her by the hand and led her to the communicants.
"My God, forgive me," Olga Nikolaevna
thought with horror, "I was completely mad!"
But she did not dare to leave: she was afraid to break
the reverence of the prayers ...
After the prayer, she quickly crossed herself and
hurried out of the temple ...
A woman in a brown scarf came to the priest.
"You must excuse me, Father Nikolai, but I did
not see this parishioner at the cup." Why did you tell me to take her to
the thanksgiving service?
The priest took her hand and led her away.
"You see, Antonina," he said in a low voice,
"this woman, when she came to the cross, was shining with such unearthly
light that I almost lost my balance ... Even if she was not at the chalice,
believe me: she was parted by the angel herself. Such phenomena were sometimes
observed by the Holy Fathers ... Only, for God's sake, do not tell anyone about
this parishioner ...
And he went to the altar ...
And Antonina, having left the temple, looked curiously
at the slightly hunched Olga Nikolaevna; However, no light emanating from it,
did not see ...
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