In 2011, I
entered Tbilisi State University. I come from western Georgia. In those years
our family suffered from dire poverty. It turned out that my father fell ill in
September that year. I have put “it turned out” because I learned about this by
accident two months later. Since I am a highly sensitive person and at that
time I was undergoing a medical treatment, my family hid this sad news from me.
My father’s illness and demise taught me how to live, they showed me that death
is a transformation and that we are not alone—the Lord never abandons us.
March 6 was
the last day of my father Gela’s life on earth. He was lying in a very poor
condition, while my mother and I were sitting in silence, taking turns watching
over him at the bedside. In the last hours of his life, father spoke little,
suffering from excruciating pain. He bid us farewell with his eyes, in which we
saw remorse and grief. After three in the morning he called me in a faint
voice: “Kostya [a diminutive form of the name Constantine.—Trans.]… Turn on the
light…” He wanted to half-rise, but he had no energy for that. After three
unsuccessful attempts he asked me to switch off the light and go to bed. Though
I did put out the light, I didn’t go to sleep because I couldn’t leave him when
he was face-to-face with death. I wanted him to feel that he was not alone and
that I was with him walking the path, which each one of us will have to walk
sooner or later. Thus my mother and I were sitting in the dark and “guarding”
the deathbed of our beloved father and husband who was dying. At some point my
dad breathed out for the last time and then stopped breathing. When I turned on
the light, I found that my father was unconscious—on the point of passing into
eternity.
“Oh my Lord,
he is dying… dying,” I thought, intending to yell at the top of my voice:
“Help!” But at the same moment I suddenly saw Elder Gabriel through the window
running towards us from the gate of our yard. He was running, with his mantle
waving like a banner.
Confused, I
thought that Elder Gabriel lived next door and that he was going to close my
father’s eyes and serve a funeral service over him. Suddenly some force made me
turn to my mother and say to her in a calm and strict voice, somewhat
automatically and unexpectedly:
“Let us not
cry or call the neighbors to help us. You see, dad is passing into eternity.
Repeat aloud: ‘Lord, have mercy!’”
I remember
her puzzled look. But, strangely enough, my mother, who hadn’t expected to hear
such words from me, obeyed me. I made the sign of the cross over my father and
began to read the prayers for the departed in Georgian along with the troparion
for the departure of the soul automatically. I read the prayers, made the sign
of the cross over my father, closed his eyes, and quietly went to another room
where we had icons. There I made a bow and said in front of an icon of the
Theotokos:
“Glory be to
God… I thank Thee, o Sovereign Lady, and thank Thy Son and our God for giving
me several months of full-fledged, affectionate and informative communication
with my father through his illness and for escorting his soul in such a
peaceful and quiet way now! I beg You to accept him and forgive him all his
voluntary and involuntary sins! I love You!”
This
state—from my father’s repose to my expression of gratitude by the icons—lasted
about ten minutes. After that I hastened to the room where my newly-reposed
father lay. And then I lost control—calling the neighbors for help, I ran out
onto the balcony and set up a wail: “Daddy… Daddy… Don’t go away…” A few
minutes later all the neighbors were already here, though it was soon after
four. After a time, following a conversation with my father-confessor, I came
to understand what exactly had happened at that night! I recalled how Elder
Gabriel was running towards us and how I thought he was our neighbor! The holy
elder was the first one to visit us when my father’s soul was passing into
eternity, poured grace upon his soul at the moment he needed it most, and then
“set me at liberty”. In the minutes when through the saint’s intercessions the
Lord gave me grace and strength in front of my dying father’s bed, a feeling of
perfect calm and peace came over me, and I did what every Orthodox Christian is
supposed to do in this situation, namely guided my loved one to the other world
(which is unfathomable for the human mind) by prayers. And next… Next I was
shown what we humans are like without God’s help: faint-hearted and weak… I
started doing the things (and even worse) that I had discouraged my mother from
doing a few minutes earlier: screaming at the top of my voice, running around
and calling people for help.
As time goes
by, we begin to analyze all events more deeply, and the Lord reveals secret
things to us. Reading Blessed Theodora’s account of her journey through the
aerial toll-houses and the separation of the soul from the body, I learned that
the dark, evil and cursed enemies of humankind hasten to the deathbeds of dying
people, making noise, scaring and confusing every human soul at the moment of
its separation from the body. And then I realized why I had seen Elder Gabriel
running towards us exactly when my father’s soul was departing into eternal
life. He was helping me guide my father’s soul as it was leaving his body; and,
most importantly, the elder was chasing away the wretched spirits that were
trying to frighten my dad.
On the basis
of a number of occurrences in my life along with the lives of those close to me
I can assert that Elder Gabriel comes first as one’s soul passes into eternity.
Moreover, it should be said that through his bold prayers to God and his
unquenchable love, Elder Gabriel reveals himself in such wonderful ways, when
you clearly feel and see the glory of God, His power and mercy. I cannot help
but recall the story that occurred with Galina Petrovna Robakidze, the editor
of the book and film, “The Elder’s Diadem”.
We formed a
bond like that between a grandmother and a grandson or of the most intimate
friends. In 2016, her oldest daughter Marina, who lived in Russia, fell seriously
ill. In that final period of Galina Petrovna’s life she couldn’t walk. One day
she said:
Galina
Petrovna Robakidze and her daughter Marina“I don’t want anyone to outlive their
own offspring. That is the most terrible thing, Kostya. Do you remember the
Lamentations of the Theotokos? She experienced indescribable pain! If She
suffered so much, then surely I won’t survive. It would be better for me to die
first. I often ask Elder Gabriel to pray that the Lord can take my soul one day
before Marina’s death.”
Of course, I
tried to console her:
“Galina
Petrovna, all will be well! Marina will get better!”
She looked at
me, smiled, and said with sadness in her eyes:
“Please,
support Nato and don’t leave her all alone after I am gone [Natalia is her
second daughter, the editor of the film, “I Am Waiting for You at
Samtavro”.—Auth]. I know she will have a hard time after my death. Though we
live far from each other, I am her hope. I have never worried about myself, I
am not afraid of death, I only worry about my children. I know that the elder
will hear my petition and bring it to the Lord.”
On January
20, 2017, I came to Moscow to launch a new book on Venerable Gabriel. At that
time Galina Petrovna was in the ICU. She only drank some water and didn’t say a
word for a week.
On my arrival
I called her other daughter, Natalia Dzhumberovna (she was my homeroom teacher
at school), and asked her to come to my place. She agreed and came.
On that day a
priest was invited to see Galina Petrovna. He gave her Communion and anointed
her with holy oil. At that moment we were reading the Akathist hymn to Elder
Gabriel in Moscow, imploring him to help Galina Petrovna. Once the priest had
anointed her, the woman opened her eyes and began to smile and laugh. Everybody
was surprised. We were told about it as well, and I recalled the account of one
religious woman—Nana Gegia. She recounted that her brother had laughed just
before his death. When asked why he was laughing her brother replied: “Father
Gabriel is sitting here at my bedside and making me laugh.”
In the
evening Natalia and I were in the apartment, waiting in silence, when we
received a phone call from Georgia and were informed about Galina Petrovna’s
repose.
She passed
away with a smile on her face. And at the very moment we received this news, we
could hear the bells of the St. Martha and Mary’s Convent ring. It seemed as if
Galina Petrovna were trying to say to us: “Keep praying, and don’t despair! I
am with God!” Later Natalia told me that once she had asked her mother to show
her a sign when she died. It was Elder Gabriel who made Galina Petrovna laugh
in the last minutes of her life on earth, and escorted her soul peacefully,
thus answering her prayer by “bringing her petition unto the Lord”—to take her
soul if only one day prior to Marina’s repose.
Galina
Petrovna departed this life on January 28, and a day later Marina, her
daughter, fell asleep in the Lord as well.
Thus through
the elder’s intercessions the Lord granted Galina Petrovna’s request. To pass
away while smiling is a blessing from God. Though grief-stricken, we all then
saw that death is a transformation, and a glimmer of joy appeared in our
hearts.
I would have
never imagined that the repose of my loved ones would be associated with some
kind of joy for me and that I would survive the loss so easily. Sometimes, when
I display weakness and fall into a reverie: “If only my father were alive… If
only Galina Petrovna were near me…” I ask myself the question: “Are they really
gone?” And in those minutes I sense as if Elder Gabriel were reproaching me,
saying: “Are you at it again? Everything happened according to the will of
God…” And then I get my joy back because the elder reminds me that everything
was arranged by God! And where there is God and His holy will, all is well!
But one
thought keeps pestering me. I have had and will have many sorrows, and I thank
God for everything; but I don’t know if I will be able to face all the various
sorrows humbly without the elder’s help or not. And the desire that at least
someone may be comforted by these memories shines brightly in my heart, crying
with love, “Glory to God!”
Constantine Tsertsvadze
Translated by
Dmitry Lapa
Pravoslavie.ru
10/2/2019
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