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There
once was a hermit who labored in the wilderness for seventy years, in fasting,
vigils, and much watchfulness. In all of the years that he served God, he was
not accounted worthy to see either a vision or any revelation from Him. For
this reason he fell to thinking, “Perhaps for some reason of which I am not
aware, God is not pleased with my labors? This must be why I have not seen any
revelation or any mystery.”
Contemplating
these things, the elder began to labor and to pray to God with more fervency,
saying, “Lord, if my labor is truly pleasing to You and if You receive my
works, I the sinful and unworthy one beseech You to give me just a drop of Your
spiritual gifts, so that through the vision of some mystery I will be informed
that You have heard my prayer. Thus, I will be able to commit my ascetic life
to You with more courage and trust.”
Praying
in this manner, the elder heard a voice from God saying, “If you desire to see
My glory, go deeper into the wilderness and there many mysteries will be
revealed to you.” As soon as he heard the voice, the elder left his cell. After
wandering for a while, he encountered a bandit, who as soon as he saw him
overtook him with all of his strength, desiring to kill him. After he caught
the elder, the bandit said, “It is good that I met you, Abba, because now I
will complete my work and be saved!”
“But
how will you be saved if you kill me?” asked the astonished elder.
“We
bandits have the following law and faith: The one who is able to kill one
hundred people will go to Paradise. Therefore, having labored much until now, I
have killed ninety-nine, and lacking one, I have striven much to fulfill the
last and to be saved. That is why you have given me much joy, and I thank you
because today through you I will indulge in Paradise!”
Having
heard this, the bewildered elder trembled from the unexpected and desperate
situation in which he found himself. Then, raising the eyes of his mind towards
God, he said, “Is this Your glory, Master and Lord, which You have willed to
show me, Your servant? Such counsel have You given me, the sinner, to leave
from my cell in order to inform me with such a mystery? With such gifts You
have rewarded my labors? Now I have known in truth, Lord, that all of my
asceticism has been in vain and all of my prayers have been accounted before
You as something worthy of loathing and disgust. Even so, I give thanks to You
for Your love of man, that You have punished my unworthiness as is meet, for my
innumerable sins, and that You have given me over into the hands of this bandit
and murderer!”
Saying
things such as these with pain, the elder began to thirst. Afterwards he said
to the bandit, “My son, since the Lord for my sins has given me over into your
hands in order for you to kill me and take me from this life, as the wicked man
that I am—and behold, your wish has been fulfilled—I beseech you to also
fulfill one small wish of mine. Give me a little water to drink, and then you
can cut off my head.”
As
soon as the bandit heard these words of the elder and desiring to fulfill his
request, with much joy he put his sword back into the sheath, and bringing
forth from his chest pocket a small vessel, he went down to the river nearby to
fill it with water and bring it back to the elder to drink. Yet while he was
there filling the vessel, he gave up his soul and died.
Time
having passed and not seeing the bandit returning, the elder thought to
himself, “Perhaps he became tired and fell asleep, and that is why he is
delaying in returning? Maybe this is my chance to escape and return to my cell?
But I am old and am afraid that I do not have the strength to run. Being weak,
I will tire quickly, and he will catch me. Thus having enraged him all the
more, he will torture me without mercy, cutting me up into many pieces. So I
better not run but should rather go to the river to see what he is doing.”
Thinking
upon this, the elder went down to the river and found the bandit dead, for
which he wondered greatly. Raising his hands towards Heaven, he said, “Lord,
Lover of men, if You do not reveal this mystery to me, I will not lower my
hands. Let your compassion be upon this labor of mine and show it to me!”
With
this prayer on his lips, an angel of the Lord appeared to him and said, “Do you
see, Abba, the one who lies dead before you? For your sake he received this
sudden death, so that you could escape and not be killed. For this reason you
should bury him as one saved. Since he did obedience to you and for the fact
that he put his sword back into the sheath in order to bring water to quench
your thirst, the rage of God was quenched, and He received him as a worker of
obedience. Furthermore, his admission to killing ninety-nine people was
accounted as a confession. Therefore bury him and commemorate him with those
who have been saved. Through this you should know the abyss of love for men and
the compassion of God. Now go back to your cell rejoicing, and be more zealous
in your prayers. Do not say that you are sinful and unworthy of revelations.
Behold the mystery that God has revealed to you. And you should also know this:
All of your ascetic labors have been received by God, for there is never a
labor done for God that does not rise up before him.
Upon
hearing these things, the elder buried the dead.
Republished
with permission
Familia
Ortodoxa
1/31/2022
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