I sigh - my enemies are comforted by my sighs; I grieve - they rejoice in my sorrow; I groan, I sob, I cry - loud applause, shouts and songs of exuberant joy are heard among them; I languish, as if I disappear in the temptation that has overtaken me - they triumph, they celebrate the victory over me . Intoxicated with rage, madness, arrogance, and frenzied hatred of God, they boast of the defeat inflicted on a weak person, as if it were a defeat inflicted on God Himself. Throughout the vast celestial empire, in all of its congregations, on the walls of creation itself, they announced my fall. Their frenzied and blasphemous exultation reaches the vaults of heaven and strikes them. These fallen angels would like to break into these vaults, to resound with ridicule and abuse the holy abodes of paradise. Paradise was once a witness to their criminal plans and undertakings; it once resounded with their violent, open, meaningless indignation against God. My Creator! My Redeemer! Yours I was before my horrible transgression and yours I remain thereafter. They have stolen Your property from You, because You allowed it to be stolen for a time, according to Your incomprehensible wisdom. My enemies see that You have forsaken me, that You have turned away from me, and rejoice at the free access that they are allowed. But there will come a time when You, my Savior, will have compassion on me, when You will offer Your Almighty hand to me and save me from death.
St. Ignatius Brianchaninov
“A Monastic’s Lament for a Brother who has fallen into Temptation “
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