During the
winter months the sun had already set by the time I reached the Holy Dormition
Monastery of the Mother of God. Vespers was most often held in the large
catholicon outside the monastery gates. Entering the outer narthex I would
light a beeswax candle in front of the festal icon the sisters had laid out on
an icon stand. As soon as I opened the large wooden door to the nave I would be
greeted by the sound of the nuns melodic chanting and surrounded by the sweet
fragrance of burning incense. I would then proceed to the large icon of the
Mother of God, depicted with the Lord on her lap. In those sacred, if fleeting,
moments a person could feel genuinely connected to the Mother of God. In the
dim light of the church, one could even supplicate the Theotokos with tears and
be noticed by no one. As far away as she seemed out in the world at times, that
much and more close she seemed in the sacred space of her holy monastery.
To stand in
the presence of a holy icon is to stand in the presence of the person depicted
therein, and so whether we stand before a large icon encased in an elaborately
decorated wooden icon stand or before a paper icon taped on the wall of our
bedroom, we stand before the holy person whose countenance is painted in line
and colour. But in the peaceful, prayerful atmosphere of a holy monastery, we
often become more attuned to the spiritual reality surrounding us, and being
more attuned to this spiritual reality not only makes our prayer flow more
readily but contemplation of holy mysteries comes within our grasp.
It is in
moments such as these that I contemplate the person of the Most Holy Theotokos.
Thinking on her life and works, her sufferings and sacrifice, I feel as though
she offers us the answer to all our problems. The example of her life is the
cure to our illness, the source of joy to heal our sorrow. By means of merely
two of her countless virtues – obedience and purity – she teaches us
everything. In her obedience to God she shows us that perfect freedom and
attaining our “full potential” is found in submitting our fallen and corrupted
will to the all-good Father, thus molding our will into His will and therefore
being able to (eventually) not only “know the good”, but will it and do it.
With her
outward and inward purity she points us to the easy path of sanctification. By
keeping our souls and bodies pure, by not even accepting corrupted thoughts, we
maintain the ability to hear and communicate with God, and thus know how to
live in conformity with His will. If we have long ago lost our purity – whether
it be mental, spiritual and/or physical purity – we have the opportunity to
restore it through confession and repentance. Confession and repentance are our
constant means to imitate her virtue and please her Son and our God, as she
does best of all.
And so, no
matter how ill we are, no matter our upbringing, no matter the genetic
weaknesses we have inherited (of body and soul), no matter the state of the
world around us, we have the opportunity by God’s grace, through the prayers of
the Theotokos, to become healthy, to become holy. We too can, in our own
dormition, pass from life to life through a mere “falling asleep”, if only we
would imitate her virtue.
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