This
is a story about St Seraphim which Fr. Seraphim from Mull Monastery first heard
from one of the sisters at his Monastery in Diveyevo:
“When
St Seraphim was living as a hermit in the forest, two young men who were
novices at the monastery in Sarov had him as their spiritual father (can you
imagine that?). One was called Sasha; I don’t remember the name of the second
one.
At one
point, St Seraphim gave them an obedience to go and pray to the Saints of the
Monastery of the Caves in Kiev. He had been there as a young man himself, just
before entering the monastery in Sarov, and he probably wanted his two
spiritual sons to receive the same blessings he had.
Anyway,
having received this obedience and a blessing from the Monastery, they left for
Kiev. On the way to Kiev though (which would have taken weeks), Sasha grew
increasingly sad and weak. He was missing his spiritual father so much that he
felt he could not go on without St Seraphim.
As
they were travelling further from Sarov, things got increasingly worse, his
heart ached so much, his pain cut so deep that he fell physically ill. He
suffered for a few days, tormented by the love he felt for the great Saint and the
separation from him, until he eventually died.
He
died missing his spiritual father. This is a story I’ve struggled with for a
long time, until last year, I asked my own spiritual father about it. What
happened to the soul of poor Sasha? Was that not spiritual death, to get so
attached to a human being that you could not live without that person?
My
spiritual father only said: ‘that young man was not missing St Seraphim, but
Christ’s image in the great elder’. He may not have had the spiritual maturity
to understand this, but the love he felt, that beyond-human need to be united
with St Seraphim, was actually the craving, the longing, the love his heart
felt for Christ.
St
Seraphim had revealed to him Christ Himself. Sasha had felt Christ’s love in
the saint’s love. His soul understood that there is no life apart from his
spiritual father, because – unknown to his simplicity – he had learnt that
there is no love apart from Christ. So when the young man died, he did not
become separated from his spiritual father, but he finally became One with the
Lord of his heart.”
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