I
received your letter, my child, and I saw your anxiety. But don’t be sad, my
child. Don’t worry so much. Even though you have fallen again, get up again.
You have been called to a heavenly road. It is not surprising for someone
running to stumble. It just takes patience and repentance at every moment.
Therefore,
always do a metanoia when you are wrong and don’t lose time, because the longer
you wait to seek forgiveness, the more you allow the evil one to spread his
roots within you. Don’t let him make roots to your detriment.
Therefore, don’t despair when you fall, but
get up eagerly and do a metanoia saying, “Forgive me, my dear Christ. I am human
and weak.” The Lord has not abandoned you. But since you still have a great
deal of worldly pride, a great deal of vainglory, our Christ lets you make
mistakes and fall, so that you perceive and come to know your weakness every
day, so that you become patient with others who make mistakes, and so that you
do not judge the brethren when they make mistakes, but rather put up with them.
So
every time you fall, get up again and at once seek forgiveness. Don’t hide
sorrow in your heart, because sorrow and despondency are the joy of the evil
one. They fill one’s soul with bitterness and give birth to many evils. Whereas
the frame of mind of someone who repents says, “I have sinned! Forgive me
Father!” and he expels the sorrow. He says, “Am I not a weak human? So what do
I expect?” Truly, my child this is how it is. So take courage.
Only
when the grace of God comes does a person stand on his feet. Otherwise, without
grace, he always changes and always falls. So be a man and don’t be afraid at
all.
Do you see how that brother you wrote about
endured the temptation? You, too, should do likewise. Acquire a brave spirit
against the temptations that come. In any case, they will come. Forget about
what your despondency and indolence tell you. Don’t be afraid of them. Just as
the previous temptations passed by the grace of God, these, too, will pass once
they do their job.
Temptations
are medicines and healing herbs that heal our visible passions and our
invisible wounds. So have patience in order to profit every day, to store up
wages, rest, and joy in the heavenly kingdom. For the night of death is coming
when no one will be able to work anymore. Therefore, hurry. Time is short.
You
should know this too: a victorious life lasting only one day with trophies and
crowns is better than a negligent life lasting many years. Because one man’s
struggle, with knowledge and spiritual perception that lasts one day, has the
same value as another man’s struggle, who struggles negligently without
knowledge for fifty years.
Without
a struggle and shedding your blood, don’t expect freedom from the passions. Our
earth produces thorns and thistles after the Fall. We have been ordered to
clean it, but only with much pain, bloody hands, and many sighs are the thorns
and thistles uprooted. So weep, shed streams of tears, and soften the earth of
your heart. Once the ground is wet, you can easily uproot the thorns.
—
Saint Joseph the Hesychast
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