Saint Sophrony on Marital Problems

 

The Wedding at Cana

  When married couples would visit Saintr Sophrony of Essex, and spoke of the problems in their relationship, he typically would hear complaints about one's spouse.
Saint Sophrony would ask: "Who is responsible for the problems in your relationship?"
The reply: "My wife! (or husband)"
Saint Sophrony: "So you aren't responsible at all?"
Response: "I'm also responsible, but the greatest responsibility is with my spouse!"
Saint  Sophrony: How much do you think you are responsible, and how much your spouse?"
Response: "90% theirs, 10% mine!"
Saintr Sophrony: "You correct the 10% that you say you are responsible for and you will see if the 90% from your spouse remains!"
The holy Elder remarked that the key element in order to maintain a proper relationship between spouses is that everyone should take responsibility for their own mistakes and not shift them all to one another.