A testimony offered by Hieromonk Synesios.
“A few years ago, I was the parish priest of St. Vasileios church (Piraeus) and was called to hear the confession of a young man, Xenophon, 42 years old.
When I arrived, his days were numbered. Cancer with
rapid metastases had affected his brain too. He was all alone at the ward, the
bed next to him was empty, so we were all alone.
This is what he told me about how he came to Faith,
since he was a “hardened atheist” in his own words:
‘I arrived here about 35 days ago, in this ward of two
beds. Next to me was another patient, about 80 years old. He was suffering from
cancer too, in his bones, and although he was experiencing excruciating pain,
he was constantly praising the Lord “Glory to God! Glory to God for all
things!” He also recited more prayers which I heard for the first time in my
life since I was an atheist who had never set my foot to church. Often,
all those prayers comforted him and he slept for a couple of hours. Then, after
2-3 hours, he woke up again from the excruciating pain, and he would start over
“My Christ, I thank you! Glory be to Thy Name! Glory to God! Glory to God for
all things!” I was moaning with my pain, and this patient at the next bed to
mine was glorifying God. I was blaspheming Christ and the Theotokos, and he was
thanking God, thanking him for the cancer which he had given to him, and for
all the excruciating pain he was suffering.
I was so rebellious and indignant at this! Not only
for the excruciating pain I was suffering, but also for his never-ending
Doxology. He was also partaking daily of Holy Communion, while I was throwing
up in disgust.
– ‘Will you please shut up! Shut up and stop saying
all the time ‘Glory to God’! Can’t you see that this God, Whom you are thanking
and glorifying, this same God is torturing us with such cruelty? What kind of
God this is? No, He does not exist!’
And the patient on the next bed would meekly answer
me: ‘He does exist, my child, and He is also a most loving Father, because with
all this illness and pain, He cleanses me from my many sins. If you had worked
on some rough task, and your clothes and your body stank, would you not need a
rough brush to clean all this dirt? Likewise, God is using this disease as a
balm, as a beneficial cleansing for my soul, in order to prepare it for the
Kingdom of Heaven’.
His replies got even more on my nerves and I was
blaspheming gods and demons. All my reactions were sadly most negative, and all
I did was to keep on screaming: ‘There is no God. … I do not believe in
anything. … Neither in this God nor in His Kingdom …’
I remember his last words: ‘Wait and you shall see
with your own eyes how the soul of a Christian who believes is separated from
his body. I am a sinner, but His Mercy will save me. Wait, and you will behold
and will believe!’
And that day came. The nurses wanted to place a
screen, as is their duty, but I protested against and stopped them. I told them
‘No, don’t do this, because I want to watch how this old man will die!!!’
So I watched him and he was glorifying God all the
time. He also said a few ‘Hail, Unwedded Bride’ for the Theotokos, which as I
later found out, they are called ‘Salutations’. He would also chant “Theotokos
Virgin Mary …”, “From my many sins ..” and “It is truly right to bless you,
Theotokos …”, and he would also make the sign of the Cross a number of times.
Then … he raised both of his hands and said
“Welcome, my Angel! Thank you for coming with such a bright synodeia to take my
soul. Thank you! Thank you!” He raised his hands a little bit more, he made the
sign of the Cross, he crossed his arms on his chest and fell asleep in the
Lord. Suddenly, the ward was filled with Light, like ten and more bright suns
had risen all together, such was splendour of the light with which this ward
was lit!” And not only was this ward lit, but a heavenly fragrance spread
around, inside the ward, even outside the corridor, so powerful that those
patients in the neighbouring wards who were not asleep and could get out of
their beds, they came out and started walking up and down the corridor, trying
to discern where this special fragrance was exuded from.
Thus, my Father, I, the hardened atheist did believe
and called for you to hear my Confession.’
*
Xenophon was firm and merciless with his old self, but
the Mercy of our Lord was great, really great! He offered a clear confession,
received Holy Communion a couple of times, and departed in deep repentance, in
peace, a holy death, himself glorifying God!”
By Protopresbyter Stephanos Anagnostopoulos
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