from “The Way of a Pilgrim”

For a week I followed the instructions of the elder and studied ceaseless prayer alone in the vegetable garden, and for a while I managed. Then a great burden came upon me. Laziness, boredom, drowsiness and a cloud of disturbing thoughts seemed to overwhelm me. In my sorrow I went to see the elder and explained my situation to him. 

He welcomed me lovingly and said, “Dearly beloved brother, a war has been declared against you by the world of darkness—a world which finds nothing as terrifying as heartfelt prayer and therefore tries by all means possible to confuse you and distract you from your purpose of learning how to pray. However, even the action of the enemy is permitted by God’s will to the extent that it is necessary for us. It seems that your humility needs to be tested and that you are not yet ready to enter the interior of your heart, for you may fall into spiritual greediness. 

“I will read you a directive from the Philokalia regarding such a situation.” And so the elder found the instruction of the Venerable Nicephorus the Solitary and began: “‘If, in spite of all effort, you cannot enter the interior of the heart in the way which was explained to you, then do what I will tell you and with God’s help you will reach your goal. Man’s vocal cords enable him to speak, to vocalize words. Use this ability then and, while fighting distractions, diligently and continuously say, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!” If you will persevere for some time then, without any doubt, the path to the heart will be opened to you. This has been verified through experience.’ 

“Do you hear what the holy Fathers say about a case similar to yours?” asked the elder. “Therefore, you ought to receive this exhortation with faith and say the Jesus Prayer vocally as often as possible. Here is a prayer rope on which you can count and in the beginning say the Prayer at least three thousand times a day; do not add to or take away from this number by yourself. Through this exercise God will help you to achieve the ceaseless activity of the heart.” 

I received this instruction joyfully, returned to my place, and began faithfully and as accurately as possible to carry out this directive of the elder. For two days it was somewhat difficult. Then it became so easy and pleasant that when I was not saying the Prayer a need arose within me to say it, and I began to say it then with much greater ease than I had experienced at the beginning.

from “The Way of a Pilgrim”