You have not become worse than you were before.
It is simply that the circumstances of our life gradually reveal us even to ourselves, removing the veil of self-deception.
And thank God for that!
Seeing myself as I really am is difficult, but it is absolutely necessary for the salvation of my soul.
From this realization comes self-reproach, and what results is not humility and humble speech, but humility full of grace.
Thank the Lord for the school He has given you.
Archimandrite John (Krestyankin)
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