“My son, give me your heart…” (Proverbs 23:26)
Above all canons and regulations is love.
Father Iliodor fully brought these words spoken by Saint Gabriel (Urgebadze) to life.
“I approach the hotel, it’s raining and cold, a woman with a child is knocking on the door, but they won’t let her in because the hotel closes at eleven o’clock. So I knock again and complain, ‘How can this be? Are you not letting Christ, the Mother of God, in?'” Father Iliodor recounted.
Often, when we arrived at the monastery, we’d find our godfather not in his cassock, but in sweatpants and a robe. “The abbot took him off. I took a child, a wheelchair user, to Jerusalem without his blessing. I promised him, but the abbot didn’t bless him, but how could I not fulfill my promise?”
There was a children’s camp near Optina in the summer. Having visited there and discovered that the children had neither fresh vegetables nor milk or sour cream, Father Iliodor immediately ran to the brotherhood’s refectory, loaded a cart with boxes of cucumbers, tomatoes, and jars of milk, “harnessed” one of the pilgrims to it, and took it to the children. Hegumen Nikon came running toward him:
– Are you robbing the brethren! Without a blessing?!
– Father, you are a priest, so bless us to feed the children.
“On Valaam there lived ascetics, and at Optina, comforters. Such were the venerable elders of Optina. We must continue this tradition.” This principle became the foundation of Father Iliodor’s monastic life.
Mom, how many times do I have to kiss you?
Father Iliodor taught all his children that they should strive to receive communion often:
“We don’t ask, ‘Mom, how many times do I have to kiss you?’ It’s the same here. In communion, we unite with God, who loves us more than anyone.”
There were cases when priests wouldn’t bless someone for communion. The godfather would go and investigate. Some were even successfully “won back.”
His reverence for the Holy Gifts was also astonishing. One day, a little girl vomited in church immediately after receiving Communion. She had been complaining of feeling unwell since the morning, but her mother insisted on going to church. She had brought a plastic bag with her, into which the child vomited. When she told Father Iliodor about the incident, the girl’s mother heard: “Come back with this in a few hours.” Having fasted, the godfather consumed the contents of the bag.
Heart ultrasound and the formula for Christian life
“No fasting will save us,” Father Iliodor instructed his parishioners on New Year’s Day 2020. “Up in heaven, they won’t do stomach ultrasounds. They’ll do heart ultrasounds. We’ll take with us only our hearts, our consciences, and good deeds, if any of us have any.”
His instructions, even if sometimes stern, never depress anyone, never offend or hurt anyone, never alienate anyone. Around him, people felt inspired.
“A person needs a little attention and nothing more. A listening ear and, if possible, a hug and a kiss.”
Father Iliodor left us all a “formula,” as he called it, for Christian life: “Love everyone, pity everyone, justify everyone, pray for everyone.”
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